The fires of spring
Chapter 6: The fires of spring
Setting: Daniel tried to move on from his obsession with Elizabeth, but when she sent him a note on Valentine’s Day saying she had broken up with her boyfriend and she wanted only him now, he gave into his passion for her and began what he knew would be the happiest time of his life. But soon after that Daniel was introduced to Elizabeth’s parents—and everything changed.
KENTUCKY METHODIST COLLEGE 1969. “I’ve been looking for you all afternoon,” Elizabeth announced when she found me in the library. “What’s that book you’re reading?”
“Something Peterson recommended by a guy named Jack Kerouac. Pretty interesting, actually.”
A smile spread across her face. “I’ve heard of him. He wrote that book about traveling across the country.
“On the Road. Yeh, he talks a lot about the freedom being on the road, almost like it’s a religious experience. I kind of felt that on the bus coming here two years ago. You want to read it when I done?”
“I’d like that,” she said sitting down next to me. “And that’s sort of why I was looking for you. Would you like to take a trip with me?”
“You’ve got me really curious now,” I said, slapping the book shut. “But where? I mean, what are you talking about?
“I was wondering... something I’ve been thinking about...” She hesitated. “...if you’d like to go to Ohio with me and meet my family? Maybe for Easter?”
“Absolutely. I can borrow Peterson's car.” I didn’t even try to hide my excitement. She really does love me! I nearly shouted the words out loud.
Spring came early in Ohio, and now driving through all this farmland with Elizabeth, it was even more beautiful than I remembered. The fields were still brown, waiting for the crops to be planted, but the land seemed anxious to turn green again with new life. And now coming into Kent, it was all I imagined it would be. There were no filthy mills, no tenement houses, no empty stores or abandoned buildings, no people yelling obscenities out the windows. Instead, large painted clapboard houses lined every street, all wrapped with porches intended for sitting in the evenings, waving to neighbors, and where families would gather and watch their children play in the yard. This is a place Elizabeth and I could live someday.
“There’s even a college here!” I pointed toward the sign by the road.
“Kent State. My parents wanted me to go there, but I'm glad I didn't now.” She squeezed my hand.
I squeezed back, smiling.
“Daniel, these are my parents, Dennis and Mary Johnson. Mom and Dad, this is Daniel.”
They both looked to be in their late forties or early fifties. Mr. Johnson was shorter than me, his hair thin and his stomach stretched his flannel shirt that hung slightly over his dirty jeans. He had probably been working in the yard when we arrived.
“Glad to meet you, Daniel,” he said, shaking my hand firmly. I liked him immediately.
Mrs. Johnson, on the other hand, was tall and thin, and dressed more formally. I thought she had spent a lot of time getting ready for us to arrive. She nodded, smiling just enough to be polite. It was obvious Elizabeth favored her mother’s side of the family.
She introduced me so naturally. And her parents welcomed me so easily. I wondered how my family would act. The old man would be drunk and tell everyone to get the hell out of the front of the television. My mother would probably just stare out the window and say nothing.
Mrs. Johnson led us into the living room, while I looked all around this strange and wonderful world Elizabeth came from. The house was old, like so many I saw coming into town. But it was a good old, well taken care of. Ornate rugs covering the hardwood floors were coordinated with the wallpaper in each room. And the furniture looked expensive too. I had only seen pictures of houses this beautiful in magazines in the library. Never in person. I thought her father worked in a car factory. How can they afford this fancy house? Maybe he’s a manager? I got the impression the decorating was Mrs. Johnson’s doing.
But it was the family photos on the mantle that really caught my attention. So that’s what her sisters and brother look like. Maybe I’ll meet them today.
“Where did you say you were from, Daniel?” Mrs. Johnson asked when we all sat down.
“Near Pittsburgh. A place called Clairton.” This was not something I wanted to talk about with my new family. “But I haven't been there in a long time. I call Kentucky my home now.”
“And your parents? Do they still live in Clairton?”
I felt my face grow hot. I wanted to say the old man was probably living in the back of some bar and my mother spent most of her time in Woodville, but they didn't want to know any of that. “They're both dead.” I hadn’t planned to say that, but it just came out. Elizabeth looked at me, surprised, even shocked. I turned back toward her parents.
“I'm sorry to hear that,” Mrs. Johnson answered. There was a long pause in the conversation. None of us seemed to know what to say now.
Maybe I can tell Mr. Johnson that Elizabeth has been teaching me all about the constellations? Maybe I can tell him how beautiful the night sky was at Shaker Village, just like he told her it would be. Maybe we can talk about anything, but Clairton…
“Care to help me in the garage?” Mr. Johnson finally asked, standing up. “Gotta get the tiller ready for the garden. Early spring this year and Mary wants to get her plants in the ground as soon as possible.”
I glanced at Elizabeth. “Think I’ll go with your dad, if that’s okay with you?” She nodded, glad to change the conversation, too.
I followed Mr. Johnson out of the house, but stopped on the back porch. Those questions about my family still upset me. “Mind if I get a drink of water?” I asked.
“No problem. There’s a glass in the cabinet by the kitchen sink. Help yourself and I’ll meet you in the garage.”
I found the glass, filled it, and slowly took a long drink to calm my nerves. It didn’t help. I was about to go back outside when I heard voices in the other room.
“Well?”
“Well what, Mother?”
“You know what I'm asking. Do you love him? Because it's apparent he loves you.”
I held my breath.
“I don't know. I mean I'm not sure. That's why I wanted you and Daddy to meet him.”
What do you mean you don't know? We've been sleeping together since February! I wanted to shout at her from the kitchen.
“Have you told him you love him?”
“Sort of.”
“What does ‘sort of’ mean?”
“Well, I did write him this note and said I loved all these things about him. I didn't come right out and say I loved him, you know, enough to marry him. But I know that's what he's thinking. I'm just so confused. What should I do?”
Confused? My heart stopped. That word hung heavy in the air all around me.
“Elizabeth, we women have to be very practical when it comes to things of the heart. What sort of future would you have with Daniel?”
“He says he wants to be a counselor. I think with drug addicts.”
“That's a fine thing, but it doesn't sound like it will provide much of a living?”
“What are you trying to say? You don't like Daniel?”
“Not at all. He seems like a nice boy. I'm just not convinced you should be planning your future with him. That's all.”
Their words seemed to float past me in a fog of confusion—a language I couldn't understand.
“While we're on the subject of your future, you might want to give some thought to Jeffrey Baker. You know he's always been sweet on you. He just got back from the Army. He served in Vietnam and we're all really proud of him at the church. His mother said he's going to be an attorney.”
“I didn't come here to talk about Jeffrey Baker, Mother. It's Daniel I care about.”
I snapped back to attention.
“All I'm saying is Jeffrey's got a real future. Just something to keep in mind. That's all.”
“If you don't stop talking about Jeffrey, we're going back to school right now!
I smiled.
“Your father and I both want the best for you. It might be with Daniel. We just want you to take your time and think about it. That's all.”
“Mother, no more talk about Jeffrey. I mean it!”
Without making a sound, I gently set my glass in the sink, then quickly walked out to the garage to help Mr. Johnson with the tiller. My feet barely touched the ground. She loves me!
***
All I thought about the whole drive back to Kentucky was how Elizabeth stood up to her mother. I wanted to say something, especially about our plans together now, but then she’d know I’d been listening to their conversation. I tried a couple times at school, but I never had the right words. Finally, a week later, while walking and holding hands on the golf course, I just blurted it out.
“You graduate in a couple weeks and we need to talk about next year. You know, about us.”
She didn't say anything.
“Elizabeth?”
“Sorry, I was just thinking about my mother. What did you say?”
“I said what do you think about us, you know, next year?”
Letting go of my hand, she stopped, her brow furrowed. “As much as we've talked, why didn’t you tell me your parents were dead?” she asked. “I feel like you don't trust me, and that really hurts.”
She looked so hurt, standing there. But I wasn't prepared for that question, and I definitely didn't want to talk about my family. Not now. Not ever.
“You know I love you, Elizabeth. It's just that I don't remember much about them. That's all.” I hated lying to her, but I had no choice. I reached for her hand again, but there was little warmth in her response.
“Look at the time!” she said as the clock chimed in the Admin building tower across campus. “We both have a three o'clock class. We can talk about us tomorrow. I promise.”
But we didn't talk about us the next day, or the day after that. A week passed and I hardly saw her. Maybe I should tell her the truth. But will she understand? Finally, a week before graduation, I saw her coming out of her dorm. “It's important, Elizabeth. We have to talk. There’s something I need to tell you, but not here.” I took her again to that bench under our favorite oak tree on the golf course.
“I need to tell you about…” A thousand memories of Clairton rushed over me, and the words caught in my throat. “…I mean, you graduate soon and we have to make plans for next year,” I said instead. “I thought we were all set, about us I mean. But now I think you've changed your mind.”
Elizabeth didn't say anything. She just stared at the ground for several minutes. Finally, she turned toward me with a distant look I hadn't seen in a long time. “Be patient with me. It's just that I don't have a job yet. That's all.”
I squeezed her hand, but she didn't squeeze mine back.
I only saw her a couple times after that, and there was no chance to talk about anything serious. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I have to study for my last test. But I’ll see you Friday night, like we’ve been planning. Okay?”
This was a graduation celebration we had been talking about all semester. I had borrowed Peterson’s car, and his best tie because it looked good with my new sport coat. I bought it special for this occasion. But when she greeted me in her dorm lobby, I noticed she was wearing heels that made her taller than me, something she hadn’t done since we started dating. Over dinner, I tried to talk about our plans together, but again she changed the subject. “Nothing serious now, Daniel. Let’s just enjoy this restaurant together.” she said, kissing me lightly on the lips.
I attended her graduation ceremony the next morning, but she didn’t ask me to sit with her parents like I expected. Now she was going back to Ohio, and we still hadn’t talked about our plans. I walked by her dorm several times, and I know her parents saw me, because they sort of smiled my way, but they didn’t say anything. I waited until they walked back into the dorm, leaving Elizabeth alone by their car. Running across the street, I grabbed her arm. “We still haven't talked about next year—about us, and you’re leaving today.” I knew I sounded desperate, but I didn’t care. I reached for her hand.
She took mine with little enthusiasm. “I'm sorry, Daniel. It's not a good time right now. You know, with all the rush to get back to Ohio before dark.” She looked at her watch, then toward her mother, who was now walking to the car. “Why don't you come to my house sometime soon, maybe on a weekend? We can talk then. I promise.” She kissed me quickly on my cheek, then climbed in the car. I waved to her as they drove off.
***
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